From Victim to Victimless

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” -Gandhi

I LOVED playing a victim! I played the part when I felt attacked by someone or if I wasn't getting what I wanted.  I played the victim when I wanted control or if I felt out of control and vulnerable.  I carried an invisible back-pack of memories and events used at any given moment when I wanted attention or sympathy.

I blamed other people for my circumstances.  I used all the horrific events in my life to justify I am who I am because "they" did this to me.  The stories animated my life - they were the defining moments of who I had become.  Circumstances defined me.

My invisible back-pack contained some of these:

• My daddy left me and that's why I can't love you
• My mom beat me and that's why I'm "cold"
• My parents didn't love me, therefore I don't know how to love
• I grew up in a foster home (please feel pity for me)
• My mom was an alcoholic
• I'm a minority and that's why life is so hard from the "get-go"
• My children's father lied to me for years, so I can't trust you
• 
  

Isn't that pitiful?  Just reading it exhausts me!  I had become a bad re-run.  

All of this came to a stop when I found myself living in a shelter with 3 kids. The situation provided an opportunity for me to stop the destructive behavior, change my perspective and start living life with a new attitude.

Either I was gonna "get busy living or get busy dying."

At any given moment we can use whichever card "protects" us.  Whether it's a bad relationship or sickness . . . we can allow these moments to make us.  

OR . . .

We can change our perspective from self-victimization to self-awareness.  We can take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, and gain control to create life on our terms.

Life is dirty.  People can be unethical, thoughtless and just plain nasty, but we have the choice of how we choose to live.  We can carry the madness with us and use it when we see fit or we can create new experiences.   

You decided how to live.